Do you bank your happiness on the world around you?
Or, instead, are you a beacon of hope for other people?
If you radiate confidence, then the flux of the world around you doesn’t change who you are as a person.
This is especially true of public speakers.
Imagine being grounded enough in who you are that you remain unruffled. With each crisis, you become instantly more attractive, which leads to more speaking gigs and more business.
Remember…You Deserve to be in Control!
You deserve not to be controlled by other people.
You’re about to learn how to take your freedom back from people who have been taking it from you.
The only thing you have control over is yourself.
You don’t have control over anybody else.
This blog will help challenge you to stop wasting time on other people’s business.
Stop Telling Yourself Stories!
When there is a problem, or anything unpleasant happens in your life, often times you will tell yourself a story to make sense of that situation.
A story is simply something that you tell yourself.
For example, you may be telling yourself that since certain clients didn’t move forward with you, they must hate you.
This is a story you’re telling yourself. If the person calls you up and says, “I hate you,” then you could make the claim that this person hates you.
However, a more accurate representation is that this person feels that they hate you, but they don’t really hate you.
There are really three types of “businesses” you can be involved in:
“My business” represents all the things that you directly have control over.
These are things you can change that affect your world and your sphere.
For example, the choice to be happy or not is “my business.”
This is a big one.
Most people live in other people’s business and their happiness hinges on external things.
“Other people’s business” represents things that you don’t have control over.
You can influence things, but because of human free will, you cannot control another human being.
For example, when you worry about whether your friend Joe is happy or not, you are in Joe’s business.
Whether your staff is happy or not, whether your business partner is happy or not, or whether your spouse is happy or not—it’s all other people’s business.
“God’s business” is literally everything else on the planet.
It has nothing to do with another human.
For example, worrying about the weather is worrying about God’s business.
Worrying about a tornado or earthquake in your area is spending time in God’s business.
Worrying about getting hit by a bus is being in God’s business.
Worrying about someone in your family dying is being in God’s business.
Learn how to Identify When It’s Your Business
One of the best ways to identify what is your business is to ask yourself these questions:
If you are the only variable, it’s your business.
For example, let’s say you want to hire a marketing person for your business.
You may really want a marketing person for your business, but you haven’t been able to find one yet.
If you’re the only one responsible for taking the action to find that marketing person, then it’s your business.
You can tell whether you have taken on other people’s business—and attached yourself to their end result—by thinking about a tug of war analogy.
Imagine someone comes up to you and asks you to play tug of war; he does all sorts of things to try to get you to pick up that rope.
If you let that person convince you to pick up the rope, then you have not learned how to detach from the end result.
If you show distaste towards something that person said or did, then you’ve attached yourself to his end result.
Chances are, that person wants you to be affected by what he says because then he knows he’s got you.
You’re now attached to his drama and his end result.
If you don’t pick up the rope, that shows you have learned how to detach from the end result.
The shame, the guilt, or whatever else that person is trying to use to manipulate you to pick up that rope isn’t working anymore.
Hope this helps when it comes to your fear or anxiety of giving a presentation (or really anything else you’re worried about in your life).