This is Part 1 of a 3-part series on becoming a better public speaker by being more authentic.
- Part 1 – [You Are Here] [Case Study] #1 Reason Why People BOMB With Public Speaking
- Part 2 – How To Be A More Authentic Speaker
- Part 3 – Stop Trying To Be Tony Robbins
Here’s the thing…
Most of the advice you’re getting about public speaking is DEAD WRONG.
We know because we’ve observed and studies over 10,000 speakers in dozens of industries and we document EVERYTHING.
Many of our most successful clients average $10,000/gig with strong followings.
Here’s our disclaimer: We obviously can’t promise that you will get these results. Your results will vary due to a multitude of factors.
What we can tell you is that through our multitude of case studies and of all the speakers that were struggling with these kind of results, we discovered 1 thing in common…
…The #1 BIG LIE that all of these speakers fell for, that once they figured out, changed their speaking careers forever…
Learning the truth made them more AUTHENTIC, and the result is their audience TRUSTS them more.
Once you stop believing this lie (we’ll reveal in a second), and embrace the truth, you will be on this same path.
You will be able to really click with audiences…
…whether it’s a small group you really want to influence or if you want to have major impact for something that you care about…
Think about this…
Why do you even get up and speak?
Is it Because…
- You are passionate about what you have to say…
- You want to see something different…
- You want impact…
- You want to educate people…
- You want to share information…
- You want to see something change…
- You want to create an opportunity for yourself…
This LIE affects all of these reasons…
And here’s the kicker…
…it also affects your fear of public speaking…
EVEN IF you don’t think you HAVE a Fear of Public Speaking!
I’ll talk a lot more about fear in a second…
But, first, here’s the BIG LIE…
Maybe you’ve seen someone on stage that had a lot of success…
…or you are drawn to a celebrity personality.
…or there was a teacher that you really liked and so you try to emulate that.
You know what we do when we buy into that lie in order to try to achieve what we would call “success” in public speaking?
We try to emulate the opposite style of ourselves…
…which creates A TON of problems.
(NOTE: Want to find out what your presentation personality is, so you can find out which traits define you best? Take the 5-minute Presentation Personality quiz and become the genuine presenter your audience loves in any industry or vertical — including the FREE video assessment we use to be more genuine and AUTHENTIC. Learn more about the “Presentation Personality Quiz” here.)
The first big problem is it actually makes us LESS ATTRACTIVE…
…that’ because when we look in the mirror, we see someone else other than our most attractive, genuine selves…
For many it can create and perpetuate fear, which is behind the number one reason people HATE public speaking.
But there are also people that don’t have a fear of public speaking…
…that’s the flip side of it.
This tension of opposites is something at the heart of the Rule the Room Public Speaking method.
So, what’s the TRUTH?
The secret lies in authenticity…
…when it comes to public speaking, it’s knowing who you are…it’s knowing your personality and not trying to be something that you are not.
Most people out there are trying to be something they are not…
Why?
Because we’re drawn to our opposite style. They are everything we’re not…
To help understand this better, we created a presentation personality quadrant (based on this case study) to explain this in more detail. Watch this to learn more.
I talk about the presentation personality quadrant in this video.
…and one of the lessons from the quadrant is that we are often times very attracted to the opposite personality of ourselves…
…you are interested in those traits in the opposite quadrant of your natural style, those things really stand out to you.
So, what does all this have to do with fear?
Well, fear results from a lot of things, but one of the reasons people have fear of public speaking is because they have a lot of bad experiences (with public speaking)…
…we’ve found that this happened VERY OFTEN from trying to be something they’re not.
And in a real, general way, audiences can kind of smell fear.
Just like bees or sharks, can smell fear…
But not everybody has an issue with fear…
…though the statistics routinely put public speaking in the top five of the common fears of people on this planet, a lot of people just don’t have a “fear issue” with public speaking…they’ve got other fish to fry.
What our thousands of case studies have shown us…
…is it’s not just about fear…we’re talking about audiences smelling or picking up on INAUTHENTICITY.
That applies to EVERYONE who isn’t being authentic.
What is it your audience sensing?
When you are not being true…it creates a sense of distrust.
The result is people tune out quickly…
…you end up losing em’, really quickly.
What else happens with this distrust?
They zone out, pretend to listen to whatever tip, tidbit or thought you are trying to connect with them on…and it’s a FAIL.
Trust comes when they sense you are GENUINE.
When YOU aren’t very comfortable in your own skin, and trying to be something you are not, the result is, an audience response like this…
Seriously…this is how they feel… Even when they seem to be following along (we know because we’ve asked them).
This is why many of us have mastered the “fake listening face”?
OR, you are making them VERY uncomfortable, but you have no idea this is happening…
…and then things (results) you are hoping to have happen as a result of your talk don’t happen.
You just don’t (or didn’t) have the IMPACT you wanted or needed to have.
Then it snowballs because you’re not happy either. You try even harder to be like some other “SUCESSFUL” speaker, which perpetuates the cycle.
This is why this LIE so important to understand!
By seeking to be more comfortable or happy in your own skin when you’re speaking, you see a direct correlation to your success.
And what’s the TRUTH?
It’s in learning, knowing and being TRUE to who you are.
I talk more about how we do this in this podcast.
The “Presentation Personality Model” is also something we cover extensively in Archetype Presentation Style training. So if you’re at all interested in speaking with authenticity (or if you want to transform a boring, disconnected presentation into an engaging, rock star presentation),definitely check it out.
Get all the details about the Archetype Presentation Style training here:
When you believe the lie (and try to be someone you’re not), what kind of pain is it going to cause you?
Our case studies have shown it depends on what your style is on the quadrant. (I talk about the presentation personality quadrant in this video.)
You may be the type of presentation personality where the pain happens in that moment (on stage) that feels so awkward that you’ll never want that to have that happen again…
Or, you may have a different presentation personality where you have a really bad experience where you don’t see results or make much IMPACT, but you don’t know why…
… Then based on that you start approaching public speaking in a way that actually is pretty fearful, even though in every other area of your life, that’s not your M.O…
You might fear any of the following (even if you don’t have a natural fear of public speaking)…
- You might not be able to influence the audience…
- You might lose a lot of opportunities…
- You might mishandle an opportunity…
- You don’t take care of their audience…
- The door closes on you…
- Someone else gets the opportunity…
- You could develop bad habits with public speaking…
The above might not matter as much when it’s a less impactful situation without much on the line …
…but when there is BIG opportunity, you are just not prepared for that next level.
What’s the remedy?
Know your style. It is the prerequisite first step to success in public speaking.
And that first step is to take the quiz…
…take the quiz again to confirm where you are.
Taken it before? Take it again, especially if you don’t remember what you are or if it didn’t seem right …
When you take it, answer as your nine years old self…
…before you were affected by all this stuff.
Once you do, and you know how to speak in that style, this will help you, at any point along your public speaking journey…
- If you have been speaking professionally, this will change things…
- If you are just about to attempt your first big presentation, this will help…
… this elevates everyone and anyone.
Great public speaking changes the game and opens doors of opportunity.
We’ve got some great further details about where your styles falls with the “FIPE Quadrant”, that we will talk more about in blog #2 and blog #3.
Use FIPE, to help you shine when you are going for speaking gigs and when you are speaking…
(NOTE: Need Presentation Authenticity training? See Rule the Room’s 9-Step Recipe to Unlock the Power of Your Natural Presentation Style by clicking below.)
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